Painting for fun???
Picking up where I left off, welcome to my shortstack
(2025)
July 10th
I stumble into deliberations about moving to the city while being mistaken for someone else. I am a sponge absorbing knowledge. Outside the sky is orange and pink and warm and I can breathe. We end up at a diner and the bar gives me a free pickle. I buy a drink that ends up being eighteen dollars plus tip, which is all the money I have left because I don’t get paid until tomorrow. When was the last time you cried someone asks and we all go around and share.
There’s a disagreement about Frida Kahlo’s intentions. I realize I don’t know anything and can be swayed by either side. In the morning I wash my hands in the hotel lobby restroom underneath a portrait of Frida Kahlo. We make eye contact, and I wonder about her intentions.
Aug. 23rd
I’m introduced to a cute couple, both artists. One admits they’ve retired from making art despite being close to my age and I wonder what that’s like, what’s it like to retire from making art at a young age I want to say but I don’t
Sept. 4-7th
Its September again. You blinked and now its September. You remember you have somewhere to be. Another art fair. The opening statement from our uhaul art fair application. The air is thick and gross, and I managed to only pack jeans. Its September again and you’re making the same mistakes over and over.
The install goes well considering we didn’t have a plan but we left grad school as a pit crew, a trained group of specialists. My confidence wanes upon joining the exhibitor meeting. I shouldn’t be so surprised to encounter a group of well-dressed passionate curators with exceptional taste but I am. I’m riff raff disguised as a curator disguised as a gallery owner and operator. I notice everyone is wearing extra large pants, flowy and breezy and perfect for these conditions and every woman I shake hands with is sporting a mini skirt with knee high boots and I realize I missed the memo and curse myself for wearing jeans and brown and black do not go together, I know this. We make a sale instantly and I wasn’t sure what to expect but certainly it wasn’t success.
Oct 1st
Painting for fun???
Oct 13th
I run away and turn 30 in upstate ny.
I try not to think about my entire life all at once but I have anxiety. We go to Gracie’s luncheonette, Casa Susanna, Avalon lounge and Stissing House because its raining so we can only eat, which is fine. I have the best meal of my entire life and stumble upon O Positive Festival which provides free healthcare to all participating artists for a year. A honky tonk, bluegrass man named Joes Truck Stop sings about how the road is so long and I can’t help but agree.
Nov 14th
While gallery hopping we find a whimsical mailbox and a faceless snoopy. The entire place is empty minus the pink panther. There’s another room with a dead body lying in a tomb. A techno installation program says the word, the word, the word, the word over and over again and we laugh uncontrollably although no one else is laughing and I wonder if I’m ignorant to a grander message or if people have lost their sense of humor.
people say there’s nothing new under the sun someone says
they are referring to the way Nicole Eisenman painted an ear. I feel fuzzy and warm and excited by painting once again.
Dec 10th
My first studio visit outside of grad school
I’m working out how to paint loose I say
Such a classic line from an ex-BU student they reply
I’m called out when a pattern develops, the way I speak about my paintings is negative and empty. I read this can happen if you associate a painting with a specific time and place. When I look back on my work from the previous year it’s obvious I associate these paintings with grad school feelings. More to work on.
(2026)
Jan 14th
Jan 15th
March 14th
Vermont studio center:
In my dreams I am full of wonder, energetic even. I make paintings with ease and connect with people on a deep level. In my dreams I’m saddened by the temporality of it all but warmed by the shared sentiment many artists have expressed before me, you will re-enter society revitalized and full of magic they say
this is what you have to look forward to
I am grateful, at the very least, of course, but my experience has been altered due to a recent loss of employment. Surely no one could have foreseen my boss taking a sudden pivot into the world of fine dining mere weeks before my residency. But these things happen.
I’m confronted with the reality of chronic pain and burnout which keeps me from enjoying uninterrupted studio time and contemplating what kind of artist I want to be. Why don’t you embrace your natural painting style someone says and I sulk in the presence of a fair argument made. I am only fighting myself.
The battle for how to maintain a vibrant studio practice in 2026 (without feeling insane) continues.
March 30th
April 2nd
My heart is broken (dramatic) after receiving a rejection from my top café of choice. You were a good fit, but we’ve found someone better read an email received at the respectable hour of 10 pm.
I settle for a mediocre barista job for the time being as I wait for my summer teaching job to start. Luckily for me this corporation has a soul (according to their training video) see proof of soul below ↓
I think about Phillip Glass as a plumber and I’m reminded that I am an artist, but sometimes I’m a barista and a teacher and a marketing coordinator, sometimes I’m a bartender as well.
Recent Events and Good Things!
I’ll be going to Woodstock this September for a residency after being waitlisted last year! Very excited about the potential of attending a residency while in a non-precarious position, what more could a girl ask for. Stay tuned :)
Recent Exhibition at Anderson Yezerski Gallery in Boston
Behind the scenes from VSC:
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! Unfortunately I had to cut out a significant amount to keep length down. Will do my best to avoid this is in future, until next time <3